I have struggled with phone addiction for much of my early adult life, probably from about age twenty two to thirty. When I first got a smartphone, it quickly became one of my biggest challenges. Everyone else had one. Everyone communicated through texting, photos, and apps. It felt impossible to completely give it up, even though I knew I was prone to overusing it.

I did try. At one point I switched to a flip phone. It didn’t even have the option of apps or scrolling…that alone made a big difference. But texting was difficult and slow, and staying in touch with friends became frustrating. That is how most people communicate now, and opting out completely could be a bit challenging.

Because of that, I have come to believe that while I wish we could go back in time and never have smartphones at all (and I still have a strong desire to get rid of mine)this is the reality we are living in. For most of us, the goal is not to get rid of them entirely, but to learn how to live with them in a more balanced and intentional way.

That has been my focus lately.

One of the biggest changes I have made is trying not to keep my phone on me all day. Mornings are especially hard. If I check my phone first thing, it immediately starts a cycle of wanting to look at it again and again. So now I put my phone in a place where I cannot see it. When it is out of sight, I am far less tempted to grab it.

One change I’ve made this time, is adding a house phone to our home!

All of the people closest to me, the ones who would need to reach me in an emergency, have that number. My children know it as well. Because of that, when my phone is put away and I am not paying attention to it, I do not feel the same anxiety. I still check my phone throughout the day, but I no longer feel like I have to keep it on me at all times just in case.

This is new for me, and honestly it has been hard. But on the days I put my phone away, I notice how much more time I have. Even when you are not actively scrolling, all of those small moments of checking your phone add up. They quietly steal time from your day.

I have realized there are things that matter more.

One thing I regret is being on my phone while nursing my children. I did try to be mindful. I often reminded myself to look at my babies and not my phone. It was not constant, but looking back, I know those moments mattered.

Now, when I sit down to nurse my son, I tell myself to put my phone away. I also try not to bring my phone into the bathroom. This is a big one(I know most of us don’t need to be in there for 20 minutes 😂).

I am trying to stop the habit of always grabbing the phone for every free moment, to leave it behind. If I know I am going to be sitting with free time, I grab a book instead or simply sit and think…about NOTHING.

These little moments add up too. They either steal our time or give it back to us. They steal connection, presence, and awareness. Our children have grown up watching us reach for our phones constantly. It is no wonder they struggle with the same pull.

I know not everyone struggles with phone use in the same way. This is simply what I am doing, what is helping me, and what is freeing up time and improving my mental state.

For me, conscious phone use looks like choosing specific times to check it. It looks like turning on airplane mode when I am using my phone only to read or listen to an audiobook. When I listen to audiobooks, I start it, connect my headphones, and put my phone away so I am not tempted to look at it.

More than anything, I do not want my children to grow up believing they cannot exist without a phone in their hand, like a pacifier that they can’t give up. Smartphones have become deeply woven into our lives, and I do not believe that is a good thing.

This small change, adding a house phone and putting my smartphone away more often, has helped me step back and be more present in the life right in front of me.