Many of us when we had our own space to tend to found out that we knew nothing about keeping a home.  We couldn’t keep up and constantly felt like we were falling behind or failing. So we bought the baskets, bins, and boxes. We put everything into its designated tote… only to end up with a giant mess that we still couldn’t keep up with.

Let me take you back to when my husband and I were first married. When we moved in together, we each had a child from a previous relationship. So right off the bat, we had two kids, and soon after, we would have our third. We were young and didn’t have a lot of money, so everyone wanted to help by offering us their old things. And it was a blessing in many ways.

The problem was, we didn’t know how to say no. Not to things we didn’t really need, and sometimes not even to things we didn’t want. With the mindset of “we might use this someday,” we quickly collected a house full of random things. Things we didn’t even realize we had.

At one point, I had so many craft supplies that they took up an entire bedroom. I didn’t really know what I had, but I had high hopes of creating lots of beautiful handmade items. That didn’t happen. Our basement became jam-packed with dusty totes and turned into a dumping ground for things we didn’t regularly use.

The kids’ room wasn’t much better. I had three huge bins full of toys that mostly just got dumped out, while the same few toys were played with over and over again. You’d think I would have learned by then that kids really need less, but honestly, this went on for years before I took minimizing seriously.

It really hit me when we moved out of our first home after ten years. We donated and threw away so much. Our basement was suddenly a clean, open space that could have been used for our growing family. The house finally looked the way I had always wished it would have looked while we were living there.

When we moved into our next house, my husband and I were determined not to repeat the same mistakes. And while I’ll admit we still have more than what I’d ideally like, we are doing much better.

I try to keep the mindset that we don’t actually need all these things that just circulate through the house. Things that have to be washed, put away, and cared for but aren’t really being used. When you think about it, it’s kind of silly.

So what do I do now that’s truly making a difference?

I keep things to a minimum so we can actually find what we’re looking for. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve gone to look for something we need, only for it to be lost in heaps of garage clutter. Sometimes we never find it, or we find it years later. And what a waste of money it is to rebuy things simply because we couldn’t find them when we needed them.

Kids’ clothes are kept to a minimum, too. We live in an area where the weather changes a lot. In the summer, you might start the day in shorts and a t-shirt and end it in a jacket and pants. So yes, we have some variety. But realistically, we only need about five to seven of each item in rotation. Enough for an outfit each day of the week. For hoodies and jackets, one or two is plenty. As the kids get older and start managing their own clothes, they can have more if they want.

Another big thing I’ve learned is how to say no to things that don’t serve our family. Things we don’t need or things we think, “maybe I’ll use this someday.” It is not wrong or insulting to say no when something is offered to you.

I recently went through my kitchen and took a hard look at what I actually use on a daily basis. That’s what stays. Everything else was put in the pantry or packed away. We also don’t need ten bottles of lotion, face wash, body scrubs, and so on. I like to keep my routine simple because it naturally keeps the number of items I own simple too.

Even my makeup bag is minimal. One eyeliner, one mascara, one foundation, a couple lip products, and one eyeshadow. For me personally, too much stuff is overwhelming, and that takes away from my valuable time.

I’m still a work in progress. I’m still learning and applying what I’ve learned. But I can honestly say that if you feel like you’re drowning in things, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I once thought I would never escape the mountains of stuff that exhausted me.

Now, I feel like I’m at least floating. And even if I’m not exactly where I want to be yet, that feels like progress.